Folk often ask me if I lost my legs in the war. After years of therapy and properly medicated, I am now able to talk about it. Yes, my buddy Rudolf and I were on patrol. We weren’t on the front lines. But there were reports of what folk call terrorists. We just called them Krampus. It was an individual and a collective reference. ‘Watch out for Krampus’. It didn’t matter if they were on the front line during the day or slinking around behind the lines. Krampus wanted to kill us and we didn’t want to die. I remember what captain Reynolds said:
“Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back.” – Captain Malcom Reynolds
So that’s what we were trying to do. Essentially, just trying to stay alive. If someone shot at us, we’d shoot back. But we weren’t looking for Krampus. Instead, Kampus found us. We got scrooged big time. I don’t remember the explosion. I just woke up covered in Rudolf. He didn’t need his happy juice so I took his. I took mine. The medic gave me another shot. I now know what Morrison meant by being ‘stoned immaculate’. Next thing I remember was I woke up in a state side hospital. I was out of the war. So was it worth it?
Yes it was, We were guarding a rear but critical facility. Our mission: to defend the toys and the elves who make them. I may have lost my legs in the very beginning of the attack, but I was part of the team that fought off Krampus and saved Christmas for another year.